Do you know what is important in your life? Have you taken an inventory of your values? Most people will naturally say that they hold their family at the top of their list. These are words – intentions, but what do our actions show? Are our actions in alignment with our values?
Most of us have faced this issue at some time in our life. But….what is the background to this? When we agree to something that we don’t have time for – what is actually suffering? Us? Our Health? Our family? What is it that we are worried about? Most people who fear taking a stand in favor of their own true feelings are too concerned about what others will think about them. Usually, the people we are concerned with actually have very little concern with our lives. The majority of us dread the idea of disappointing people. We also don’t want others to think we’re not helpful and obliging. We’re doing ourselves a massive disservice, though.
So, why do we let them have this control? This is the mark of a person lacking in self-confidence. Sound familiar? It doesn’t sound nice, but it probably rings true. It is so common that many songs refer to this exact issue in their lyrics ~ so don’t feel alone. Saying no doesn’t mean we’re selfish. It’s your life. You should control how you spend your time.
The trick is to recognize this habit in our life and change it! You have the ability to take control of your life and your destiny. Remember what is most important to you. If someone asks you to do something and it doesn’t fit in line with your core values, say no. It’s okay to say no – you have permission. As a matter of fact, it important that you learn to say no. It is much worse to agree to do something and have your family suffer. When you have boundaries, you can say “no” in a way that doesn’t feel like “no” to the other person. Boundaries allow you to not be the bad guy and feel guilty. This word has power: it helps you set limits, hold firm to boundaries, and get clear about what you will and will not do.
Can you imagine Donald Trump feeling guilty about saying no? Of course not! You will not ever be on the level of Donald Trump if you don’t start setting boundaries. Think about it – he didn’t set his boundaries recently – they’ve been in place for years. It’s part of the reason he has success today!
Start changing your vocabulary to include this transformational language. What have you agreed to that is taking you away from what is important to you? What will you say no to this week that will give you time to focus on your key priorities?